In a brief nutshell, I had to have some surgery....a tumor was removed from my abdomen and for a week, I sat in horror, waiting for the results: was it benign or malignant?
The first three days I spent more time in pain then worrying. The incision was much larger than I had expected or planned for. Of course, the kids didn't understand why mommy wasn't picking them up and why I was not getting out of bed! A week later, I still don't think they "get" why I am guarding my stomach!
After a LONG week, the dreaded day of my appointment arrived. Unfortunately, the appt. was scheduled for 4:45, so I had to wait all day for the results! I spent most of the day crying, wondering what would happen to my family if I wasn't here? How would they survive? Who would do what I do and more importantly, who COULD do what I do? I prayed harder than I ever have before. I believe that God blessed us with these children because he knew we could raise them to be loving, Christian children who do what they can to help others and make the world a little brighter. I believe he trusted Wayne and I to raise his children and knew that we would do whatever we could to keep them safe and healthy and always let them know how much we love them!! Why would God give me these children after 7 years of trying to conceive, only to take me away from them? It didn't make sense! I think I knew in my heart that the tumor was benign, but the mind is an evil thing! There was that fear of "what if?"
Praise the Lord that my doctor walked in the room with a smile on his face delivering the great news. The tumor was not only benign but there was no sign of ANY malignancy. The biggest weight had been lifted off my shoulders and I can continue living my life, doing what I love to do: be a wife and a mommy!!!